I've only been engaging in anal and oral sex so I must still be a virgin because my hymen is intact. Uhm... it's complicated?
The problem with thinking that a penis going in and out of a vagina is the only sex that matters is that virginity starts being defined as an intact hymen. The traditional 'lock and key' (penis-vagina) then becomes the "normal" and perhaps "the only" way to have sex. As we know, that isn’t working out too well and this one way of thinking is harmful to girls and women.
What is this hymen?
The hymen is a remnant tissue left over from how the vagina formed during embryonic development. It is often described as a "curtain" at the vaginal opening. This is an incorrect way of referring to it because it's only in rare cases where it completely closes the vaginal opening, and when it does, it's called an imperforate hymen. Girls with an imperforate hymen don't see their menstrual blood because its flow is blocked by the hymen. The accumulated or backed-up blood often develops into a vaginal mass, accompanied by abdominal and/or back pain. In this case, the extra hymenal tissue is surgically removed.
The more common variations of the hymen include a crescent-shaped or ring-like tissue around the edge of the vaginal opening. In some women, it is not present at all. Contrary to popular belief, the hymen is not a rigid thing that waits idly for penile penetration to tear and, subsequently, cause bleeding. Yes, some girls and women bleed during their first sexual intercourse but we have already established that it is dangerous to have a universal/standardised/blanket approach when it comes to women's bodies. The hymen is actually quite flexible and stretchy, and can be easily damaged by tampon, finger, or sex toy insertion, gynaecological exams, vigorous exercises, and even riding a bicycle! So if a girl starts riding bicycles at the age of 8, are you telling me that at 16 when her parents suspect she's "lost her innocence" they can rely on the hymen to confirm their suspicions? Absolutely, not!
More variations of the hymen are shown in the image below.
A microperforate hymen almost completely closes the vaginal opening. The very small opening does allow menstrual blood to flow out however, inserting a tampon may not be possible. If a young girl or woman manages to insert the tampon, she may not be able to get it out. Surgical intervention is warranted in this case.
A septate hymen is possible when a band of hymenal tissue runs in the middle, forming what looks like two vaginal openings. Again, inserting or removing a tampon may be difficult. Minor surgery is indicated to remove the extra tissue.
Does the hymen have any purpose or function?
None! It's just leftover tissue and it being a defining factor for virginity is a huge cultural problem that has significant consequences, particularly to young girls' health.
Checking young girls' hymens won't change the fact that they are having sex. They are likely to turn to anal sex as an alternative and the problem comes when they are scared of buying condoms and lubricants from the local pharmacy because Mrs. X, mom's good friend, works there. Is this access problem going to stop them from having sex? Probably not, and what they might not know at the time is that anal sex carries the highest risk for HIV infection. This is the reality and danger of pretending that young girls aren't having sex, trying to bully them into not having sex, and taking the option of having safe sex practices away from them. It is indeed a public health issue.
We really are the ones we need to change how women's bodies are viewed. Our bodies don't have to, and shouldn't be political issues. We have the right to autonomy just like everyone else. I will leave you with this beautiful way of thinking about virginity, "I believe that virginity is what the individual thinks it is [...] If a young woman has had a sexual relationship with her partner, and she feels that she has lost her virginity, then she has, regardless of what actually happened to her hymen during the encounter" - OurBodiesOurselves.
Thank you for choosing to learn with me. Don't forget to like this post and if you haven't subscribed yet, please do so and don't miss out on additional information and juicy tips! Keep the conversation going by leaving a comment below, reaching out on social media, or via email. Stay safe and continue spreading the love.
Commentaires