Who said women should enjoy sex?

Well... who said men should enjoy sex?

Hi there, I’m Zizo, your new hostess. What I propose is an honest and open discussion about women and sex. I am hoping that this blog will serve as a safe space to talk about women's sexual pleasure, reproductive health (condoms, toys, contraceptives, sexually transmitted infections, etc), and rights.

Why sex?

As a woman, especially a Black woman, I am sure you know how 'inappropriate' it is to even think about engaging in sex of any kind. Hell! Even our virginity is policed by society – it simply does not belong to us. Our bodies are to be kept 'pure' and untouched for our husbands. We have to wait for them to give us sex, rather than have it with us. Now why this choice of words? Simply put, we are not expected to have an opinion about the type of sex we want and how we want it because then they will see right through us – we know too much so we must have been 'around'. They label us as promiscuous and call us all sorts of names that are meant to dehumanize and degrade us. We, according to them, should be acquiescent and earn our right to be called women by giving husbands children. Because that has always been our role in society; to reproduce and make houses homes. Who are we to enjoy our own bodies, right? Wrong!

So here we are…

All posts from this blog will be aimed at taking back and owning our sexual pleasure, becoming advocates for our reproductive health and rights. Having women talk about sex and sexual pleasure is not sinful and shouldn't be associated with shame. We won't shy away here. If we are part of it, we have every right to talk about it in the greatest detail! Personally, I have waited way too long to have this conversation!

The first step in exploring your sensuality and having fun is…

SELF-PLAY!!! The safest sex is with your self – incidentally, this is strongly advocated for during the COVID-19 pandemic. It is through self-play and exploration that you know exactly what feels good for you during sex with a partner. I mean, you get to just be with yourself and do a little – for search of a better word – introspection! Yum!

Now this takes time and you have got to be patient with yourself. Personally, I use OMGyes (you might want to check the site out) to see what works for other women and modify the techniques to suit my body. It has been a pleasurable journey and I would recommend it to anyone who can afford.

Also, I have wasted too much time being the passive, boring sexual partner (doing what I'm told and lacking creativity) and it was only about a year ago when I decided that I will no longer be part of that life. I was ready to take charge, be pro-active in my sex life. So I started reading books and watching documentaries, such as explained on Netflix, about women's pleasure (sex education is very important, people, and it should be readily available). The number one recommendation all these sources of information made was self-play. Now there's so much I want to say about this – and I desperately want to vent away – but that is beyond the scope of this current post. So you will need to stay tuned for more.

This is my first blog post and I tried to keep it as short and simple as possible. Please leave any comments, questions, or suggestions you might have below. When we meet again, we will really start having fun. Until then, stay safe and spread the love.